I wish most days I didn’t know where we stand.

And yet sadly I do.

Struggling with all these feelings that course through me.

Each one about the same person. You.

 

You say that you don’t want a relationship at the moment

And I respect that.

You say that I am just a good friend to you

And I understand that.

 

But it doesn’t change the way I feel.

That ache in my gut when I see you run and hug someone that isn’t me.

 I wish I could honestly change how I feel about you.

Not that because you’re not worthy of my affection.

But to slowly fall head over heels for someone that isn’t interested.

Is the worst type of pain.

 

I hope as the days pass, and time flies on by.

That these feelings will fade and eventually die.

Because it is honestly better not to like anyone at all.

Then have your feelings not returned.

 

Maybe I am pinning & mourning

At the funeral of what I dreamed, hoped could be

Either way I just wish there was just some way you could understand

Without making it a funeral for our friendship.

 

Part of me wants to withdraw all together.

As every time you smile at me, I get a lump in my throat

Every time you laugh, I hear an angel’s symphony

 

I’m not trying to make you out a some perfect angel

Cause I know you’re not

I’m sure you take massive shits

And let out the most foul farts

 

But for some reason I am fine with that.

For some bloody reason I see everything about in a positive light

Like I am looking through tinted sunglasses

 

And as much as I want to take off those sunglasses

I can’t.

 

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