I wish most days I didn’t know where we stand.
And yet sadly I do.
Struggling with all these feelings that course through me.
Each one about the same person. You.
You say that you don’t want a relationship at the moment
And I respect that.
You say that I am just a good friend to you
And I understand that.
But it doesn’t change the way I feel.
That ache in my gut when I see you run and hug someone that isn’t me.
I wish I could honestly change how I feel about you.
Not that because you’re not worthy of my affection.
But to slowly fall head over heels for someone that isn’t interested.
Is the worst type of pain.
I hope as the days pass, and time flies on by.
That these feelings will fade and eventually die.
Because it is honestly better not to like anyone at all.
Then have your feelings not returned.
Maybe I am pinning & mourning
At the funeral of what I dreamed, hoped could be
Either way I just wish there was just some way you could understand
Without making it a funeral for our friendship.
Part of me wants to withdraw all together.
As every time you smile at me, I get a lump in my throat
Every time you laugh, I hear an angel’s symphony
I’m not trying to make you out a some perfect angel
Cause I know you’re not
I’m sure you take massive shits
And let out the most foul farts
But for some reason I am fine with that.
For some bloody reason I see everything about in a positive light
Like I am looking through tinted sunglasses
And as much as I want to take off those sunglasses