Is it well with my soul?

When troubles mount up and the skies grow dark, is it to the Lord whom I turn to for help?

When I hate what I see in the mirror

When I cry tears of pain

When I gasp mouthfuls of hurt

When the world comes crashing onto me

When I struggle with the apathy of not giving a damn

 

Do I turn to the Lord?

Is it well with my soul?

 

Every time I turn aside

Fapping to porn. Addictive games.

Each time looking a brief ride

To leave my responsibilities and my anxiety

 

Yet the more I do it.

The more hollow I become.

The longer I stare at that screen

The more I can see myself slipping away

Pixel by pixel

 

Not because I struggle with my horniness

Nor because I enjoy video games sometimes that I become enraptured in them.

It is because for that short amount of time

Or some days, a long amount of time

I no longer place the Lord as the most important in my life

Instead I replace him, in all his majesty, love, peace and patience

With something that should never be there.

 

So Lord God.

When the walls come crashing down.

When my friends forsake me

And my family hates me

May I always find refuge in your embrace

May it always be well with my soul

 

Not so that I can only lean on you in the hard times.

But through both the good and the bad

May the Lord my God, My Saviour.

Be the only thing in my life that I ever need. Ever want. Ever had.

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